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Forgiveness or Condemnation:
It Depends
Fr. John Cusick
The goings-on in Washington, and with our
President in particular, these past several months most likely have
drawn every one of us into more than one conversation. Everyone
has an opinion and by now most opinions are set in stone. The situations
in question transcend the normal political discussions and debates.
They focus on the very fiber of human life, sexuality, human relationships,
morality and ethical conduct. We have heard things on radio and
television and read things in print once relegated to 'adult' bookstores.
Simply put, things have been crude and vulgar.
How do you respond? Do you forgive? Do you
condemn? People of every religion have advocated both condemnation
and forgiveness.
What about you? No, this is not a poll as
to whether you condemn or forgive the president and any of the very
many people involved. But where are you in relationship to forgiveness
and condemnation in your own life? Maybe it would be helpful to
use this very public, vulgar situation to take a look into our own
lives and relationships. It is easy to have an impassioned opinion
about someone else. It is easy to take a shot at a politician or
some other public figure. That's expected. It's all a part of the
public discourse.
But what happens when it is you? How do
forgiveness and condemnation work then? How do each one of us handle
our own mistakes?
I was once asked to speak to a young man
who was arrested for burglary. The items he was accused of stealing
were found in his family's basement. It was an open and shut case.
I took him out to lunch the morning he bonded out of jail. During
lunch he said, "I don't understand what the big deal is. I
will give everything back." It was like a game. He got caught,
so the game was over. It wasn't a matter of right and wrong. It
wasn't even a matter of being responsible for his actions. It was
about getting caught. It was about self-interest. It came down to
the word "I."
Forgiveness or condemnation? It all depends.
Often it depends on where we are in the situation. If it is we who
have screwed things up and we are willing to take responsibility
for our actions and their consequences, we reach out for forgiveness.
If, however, we are the victim of someone else's wrongdoing, it
is we who choose to condemn.
One of the truly great scripture stories
about forgiveness and condemnation is found in the Gospel of John
(8:1-11). A woman caught in the very act of adultery is brought
to Jesus. One sentence in this Jesus story has been used over and
over again, "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the
first to throw a stone at her." That quotation of Jesus has
been twisted and turned and used over and over again. Yet at the
end of the story there is a powerful encounter. All the religious
leaders have walked away. The only two who remain are Jesus and
the woman, standing face to face: the teacher and the woman; the
Son of God and the sinner. "Woman, where are they? Has no one
condemned you?" She said, "No one, sir." Jesus said,
"Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do
not sin again.' There is no condemnation of the person. Yet there
is a very clear and strong admonition not to do it again. "Do
not sin again." In other words, condemn the act Ð not the person.
There is a fear among many of us that if
we have been wronged and we are asked to forgive someone, they are
getting away with something. There is no sanction. There is no punishment.
They are getting a free pass. On the contrary. Remember the touching
photo of Pope John Paul II sitting in a Roman prison praying with
and forgiving the man who attempted to assassinate him? He forgave
him from his heart. Yet the man remained in the Roman prison after
the Holy Father walked out the door.
Very often the need to forgive involves
our letting go of some of the rage, anger and bitterness brought
on by someone else's actions. Mr. Terry Anderson, the Associated
Press Journalist who was held by Islamic terrorists in Beirut, Lebanon
for seven and one-half years, had every reason in the world to harbor
a grudge and not forgive the tremendous injustice done to him. Any
reasonable human being would understand that. Yet Terry Anderson
has forgiven them. It was partly due to the wisdom of his wife,
Madeleine. "Terry," she said, "if we hold on to the
hate, we will have less room to love." Each one of us has just
so much space within ourselves. We need to fill that spiritual space
with good things, the things of God, and remove all the rest. That
certainly is easier said than done, but it is a healthier and holier
way to live.
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