Every
Saturday morning when I step inside the doors of Providence
St. Mel School in Chicago's Garfield Park neighborhood, the
first thing I do is take off my shoes. I tiptoe down the main
hallway admiring artwork and announcements of upcoming events
as I slowly make my way to the library. "WORK-PLAN-BUILD-DREAM":
the school's mission statement is proudly and prominently displayed
across the walls, "With God's help we will either find
a way or make one." They read books by Toni Morrison and
Maya Angelou. I help them with math homework and proof read
their English papers. They tell me stories about people like
Emmett Till and Tupac Shakur. When it's time to leave, before
stepping out into the harsh and angry streets of Chicago, I
put back on my shoes - walking just as carefully as if I had
never put them on.
I've
been part of the Saturday morning tutoring program at Providence
St. Mel for almost two years, but I've been involved with community
service work for as long as I can remember. I cannot imagine
my life without it, and I would not be the same person I am
today without the time I've spent as a volunteer. What began
with singing at the nursing home and taking baked goods to our
neighbors as a child, turned into a fall break trip during college
as a Red Cross Volunteer (Hurricane Andrew, Miami Florida).
I've tutored students at every level from dyslexic to talented
and gifted on every subject from Algebra to Spanish. Most recently,
I spent a year as a full time volunteer living in community
with other volunteers at Amate House. While there, I taught
math at Josephinum High School, an all-girls, inner city, Catholic
High School on Chicago's near west side. I'm a member of Old
St. Patrick's Church, and frequently spend time at the Young
Adult Ministry Office.
Though
my experiences have been numerous and diverse, the lessons I've
learned are very much the same. The reason I continue to volunteer
is very simple - it gives me life. I find so much joy and so
much hope through the work I do as a volunteer.
The
year I spent teaching was probably the toughest year of my life.
but I wouldn't trade that experience for the world. I now work
for a benefits consulting firm, and I am very content with getting
up and going to work Monday through Friday. I can honestly say
that I love my job and the amount of challenge it presents to
me. Volunteering, on the other hand, presents a different type
of challenge. It's emotionally challenging, and it moves me
in directions that I never thought possible. It challenges the
way I think and it pushes me far beyond my comfort zone. When
I was teaching at Josephinum, I had a student who loved to sing.
I love to sing too, but I was the teacher. So, I became accustomed
to saying things like "Save it for the choir ladies. You
have lovely voices but it's time for math. You'll have plenty
of time for singing later." And so I had this student who
loved to sing and talk and get up and dance and walk around
the room during the middle of my class. No matter what I said,
no matter what I tried, she would not be quiet and she would
not stay in her seat. So, one day she was singing again, which
is the least of the daily confrontations I had with her. As
I approached her desk, I listened as she sang "Hail Mary,
full of grace . . ." and I looked at her and I sang ".
. . the lord is with you . . ."That was my prayer, because
prayer was the only thing I had left to give.
One
of the things I've learned as a volunteer is that I cannot save
the world. The most I can do is use the gifts I've been given
to help somebody else. God's work is being done around us every
day, and it is not finished yet. As a volunteer, I've wanted
to "throw in the towel" many times. But knowing that
I cannot do everything has enabled me to find joy in the simplest
things. A smile, a laugh, serving a meal to someone who might
otherwise would not have eaten, or watching a student take the
smallest step in the right direction - these things happen only
one moment at a time.
The
people I've encountered while volunteering - the people I serve
and those with whom I serve - have taught me so much. The more
I give, the more I find that what I need is given back to me.
I have found an abundance of unconditional love and acceptance.
Together, we have discovered ways to create unity and dignity
among all people. Most importantly, they have taught me how
to be "color-blind" - to not see race or color or
creed or sexual orientation or physical ability; but to see
people as human, as beautiful creations of God's goodness, as
brother and sister as blessed children of God.
